So, what is the ket to a successfulk marriage? Thats not a simple question. But here''s what I''ve learned after 3 failed marriages and my current one that''s lasted for 29 years.
- Before tieing the knot or making a full committment, make sure your mate is alreqay your best friend. Love changes and fades ovrer time but a best friend will always be there for you. If you''d prefer to do something with someone otehr than your mate, such as hunting, that''s OK as long as your mate really doesn''t like it and doesn''t have any problems you doing it without them. But, if there''s something you both like to do and you''d rather do that with someone other than your mate, that''s mate is not your best friend. A best friend is something your totally content with just sitting in a room and talking.
- If something is bothering you about your mate (or anything else), do NOT keep it bottled up. Talk about it. Explain what bothers you and negotiate some middle ground that you both can live with.
- Never go to bed angry. NEVER! If one of you needs a few minutes of alone time to cool off and think about what you are actually angry about, that''s OK. But, again, you have to talk about it. Sometimes, we think we''re angry about one thing, but it''s really something else.
- Do not do any major life changes such as taking up a new hobby, going on a trip,. spending more than a small amount of money, etc., without at least mentioning it to your mate and opening it up to discussion.
- Learn to negotiate. That''s it, period. You must negotiate your relationship as if it were a business deal. You are partners.
- Define protocols for anything that can get emotionally messy. As an example, my wife and I have one protocol that states we may not go to bed angry, as mentioned above. We have another one that says neither of us can get angry and leave the house.
While these are just a few of the things I''ve learned, it''s certainly not all of them. But it''s enough for you to understand the principles behind making a relationship last forever.
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